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THE DEATH OF CONRAD UNGER: SOME
CONJECTURES REGARDING PARASITOSIS AND
ASSOCIATED SUICIDE BEHAVIOR
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The Death of Conrad Unger:
Some Conjectures Regarding
Parasitosis and Associated Suicide
Behavior
Gary J. Shipley
dead letter office
BABEL Working Group
punctum books ! brooklyn, ny
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THE DEATH OF CONRAD UNGER: SOME CONJECTURES REGARDING PARASITOSIS AND ASSOCIATED
SUICIDE BEHAVIOR
© Gary J. Shipley, 2012.
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First published in 2012 by
dead letter office, an imprint of punctum books
BABEL Working Group
Brooklyn, New York
The BABEL Working Group is a collective and
desiring-assemblage of scholar-gypsies with no leaders
or followers, no top and no bottom, and only a middle.
BABEL roams and stalks the ruins of the posthistorical university as a multiplicity, a pack, looking
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vagabonds (www.babel workinggroup.org).
ISBN-13: 978-0615600307
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication
Data is available from the Library of Congress.
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for Conrad
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Table of Contents
I. Introduction
II. Parasitoidal Possession
III. Four Literary felos de se: Nerval, Wallace, Quin,
and Woolf
IV(a). Conrad Unger: Snapshots of a Suicide
IV(b). Conrad Unger: Excerpts and Synopses
IV(c). Conrad Unger: Selected Underscorings and
Marginalia
V. Conclusion
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The Death of Conrad Unger: Some
Conjectures Regarding Parasitosis
and Associated Suicide Behavior
Gary J. Shipley
A book is a postponed suicide.
—Cioran
I. Introduction
There are ways of dying that don’t involve
death, and you can suffer them by the hour.
These mechanisms of dying might more
accurately be called protracted enervations, or
infirmities of freedom. But these are cumbersome expressions, so I’ll stick with dying. In
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instances of dead-life, a condition more prevalent than you might at first imagine, suicide is a
method of undying, and this appears to be
especially true of cases where the sufferer, the
dead-lifer, is acutely aware of their own perished state. Many who have seen photographs
of a suicide, or been unfortunate enough to
have witnessed one firsthand, testify to the
look of interrupted animation that is often
present on the faces of these autogenous
corpses: it is as if their ante-mortem emancipation were inscribed deep in the facial muscularture, deep enough to leave the surface of the
skin as a portrait of imperial governance.
(Recall that most kissed of faces: L’ Inconnue de
la Seine.)
The recent death by suicide of my close friend,1
Conrad Unger (writer, theorist, and amateur
entomologist), caused me to confront not only
the commonplaces of self-disposal, but also
their connections to literary life and notions
surrounding psychological possession, to revaluate in both fictional and entomological
terms just what it is that drives someone like
Unger to take his own life as a matter of course,
as if it had always been his only rightful end.
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1
Conrad and I met at university in our late teens
and remained friends up until his death. I was one of
the last people he visited before embarking on his
pre-suicide exile.
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II. Parasitoidal Possession
The exalted suicides of some humans might
appear to be completely antithetic to the
suicide behaviors of insects parasitized by their
entomopathogenic fungi or hairworms (nematomorpha). However, on closer inspection we
begin to see how the manipulatory goals in the
two cases can appear almost fused. But before
delving into the possibility of parallels, let us
first get clear about the parasitoidal process, as
seen in ants infected by Cordyceps unilateralis
and crickets/grasshoppers infected by hairworms.
Cordyceps unilateralis is an entomopathogenic
fungi, particular to tropical forests, that is
parasitic on ants. The spores of this parasitic
fungus precipitate from suitably placed leaves
and fix themselves to an ant’s exoskeleton.
Upon germinating they enter the ant’s body
through minute respiratory holes (spiracles) in
the ant’s tough cuticular armour. Once inside
the ant, tiny mycelial filaments start to devour
its non-essential tissues, while leaving vital
organs intact. When the time comes to
sporulate, the mycelia infiltrate the ant’s brain,
modifying its future discernment of phero-
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mones. This chemical hijacking results in the
infected ant scaling the stem of a plant and
attaching itself to its apex, or to the underside
of one of its leaves, by its mandibles. Destination reached, the fungus eats through the ant’s
brain, killing it in the process. The fungus
continues to eat and grow until it is ready to
reproduce, at which point its fruiting bodies
bud from the ant’s head and detonate, releasing
a thick mist of airborne spores that drift down
onto the forest floor and infect other ants.
Once the parasite is ensconced in its host, the
host’s fate is set, and its identity becomes that
of the parasite. Labeling the ant’s behavior,
then, as in any way suicidal might appear
fanciful, given that its identity is not its own
but rather that of the parasite, for which the
behavior represents the continuation of its lifecycle, and that the ant dies not from attaching
itself to a leaf but from having its brain eaten.
But this is to ignore two keys points: firstly,
although the ant is subsumed by its host, it is
still the demise of the ant that concerns us
when investigating parities with human suicide;
and secondly, that encephalophagia marks the
ant’s end is true only in a most literal sense, for
its real end comes with displacement, when it
isolates itself from its community, and it is this
that marks what might be called the ant’s
suicide behavior.
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The attribution of suicidal drives to arthropods
is perhaps more clearly demonstrated in the
case of hairworm infection. A hairworm’s aquatic larva is ingested by a host insect, typically
that of a terrestrial arthropod such as a cricket
or grasshopper. While in juvenescence the miniscule hairworm nourishes itself on its host’s
internal tissues, slowly growing until it is
somewhere between three and four times the
length of its host. In order to continue its life
cycle — living independently and reproducing
— the adult hairworm must first find water. In
order to achieve this next stage in its development the hairworm manipulates it’s host’s behavior, causing it to commit a nocturnal suicide
by jumping into water, after which the adult
worm swims free of its drowning vehicle and
goes in search of a mate.
Hairworms are sometimes referred to as
Gordian worms, due to the parasite’s similarity
to the knot fashioned by one-time peasant and
Phrygian king Gordius. The knot came to
symbolize a seemingly intractable problem, a
cipher of such complexity that all attempts at
solution appeared futile. Eventually in 333 B.
C., after many had tried and failed, the knot
was unfastened by Alexander the Great who,
frustrated at finding no ends to facilitate an
untying, used his sword to chop through the
knot, thus producing the desired end postsolution. (An oracle had predicted that whoever
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could untie the knot would become king of Asia,
a position Alexander went on to occupy, thereby fulfilling the prophecy.) What is important
to note is how this “Alexandrian solution”
mirrors the resolution that suicide affords to its
perpetrator: like Alexander to the knot, a
suicide responds to the labyrinthine perplexity
of human life with an audacious and violent
solution.2
III. Four Literary felos de se: Nerval,
Wallace, Quin and Wolfe
When considering as our case studies various
literary suicides by drowning or hanging, we
find that the cause is often identified by the
suicide as nothing more nefarious than the
perpetual trial of routine, the dull uniformity of
thought, the drab fug of human life itself, a
condition to which death becomes ultimate
remedy: one irrevocable act of annihilation replacing a necrotic inculcation of partial anni-
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2
Roman Emperor Gordian I was also a man of
letters, his most well-known work being the long
epic poem “Antonias.” In common with both Gérard
de Nerval and David Foster Wallace, he hung himself
with his belt.
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hilations. This suffocating dichotomy is
evidenced in the work of Ann Quin, but perhaps
nowhere more clearly than in this line from her
last novel, Tripticks: “I know not what course
others may take; but as for me give me liberty
or give me death.”3 She opted for liberty (as
necro-autonomy: death as a solution to the
external thralldom) the following year. She was
reported to have walked out to sea someway
east of Brighton’s Palace Pier, to be washed up
west 4 next day in Shoreham Harbour. Quin,
however, had been plagued by mental illness for
most of her life, leading to hospitalization on a
number of occasions. She had expressed a
profound disquiet about “going over the edge”
into full-blown psychosis, even preferring the
monotony and ridiculousness of an existence
made deliberately quotidian to such a perturbing and alienating alternative. Maybe, in light
of this, it would be more accurate to single out
the fear of future disruptions to human everydayness (autodeath as necro-equipoise: death as
solution to an internal thralldom) as the most
likely locus of Quin’s suicidal urge, and even
literary suicides in general. This latter diagnosis
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3
Ann Quin, Tripticks (Chicago: Dalkey Archive Press,
2002), 10.
4
Thereby lending an eerie significance to a sentence
from her first novel: “A man’s body, presumably
aged between fifty-five and sixty, has been found
washed up on the beach on the west side of the pier”
(Ann Quin, Berg [London: Paladin, 1989], 162).
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receives further validation from Virginia Woolf,
who stuffed her coat pockets with stones and
slipped into the River Ouse, leaving amongst
her final words the following testament of
dread: “I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best
thing to do. […] I can’t fight any longer. […] You
see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read.”
On the strength of this it might appear that it is
not so much the zombification of day-to-day
living that drove these writers to their aqueous
overcoming, but the inability (or feared inability) to ride out another fracturing of that very
state. The answer, I suggest, is that neither is
the primary cause (the parasitical entity), but
rather both suggest that the problem lies with
the suicide’s conception of self. The anomaly
arises through a process of radical disassociation: the victim gradually becomes un-able to
unite their subjective and objective senses of
self (how their identities are manifested to
them internally, with how their identities are
manifested to others, how they are manifested
in the world). As a result of this fracturing they
cannot substantiate the core of their identity in
either their objective expositions of self or their
subjective expositions of self, until eventually a
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terrifying and ultimately unendurable anonymity is achieved.5
David Foster Wallace’s suicide by hanging in
September 2008 was presaged by numerous
references to necro-autonomy, as seen in excerpts from Wallace’s last novel, The Pale King.
In one such excerpt Lane Dean, a wiggler (or
I.R.S. rote examiner), experiences the deadening effects of his work so acutely that his
fantasies and daydreams are loaded with
references to self-slaughter:
Lane Dean summoned all his will and
bore down and did three returns in a row,
and began imagining different places to
jump off of. […] The beach now had solid
cement instead of sand and the water
was gray and barely moved, just quivered
a little like Jell-O that’s almost set.
Unbidden came ways to kill himself with
Jell-O.6
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5
That this voiding of self is inextricably linked with
writing is a position that Maurice Blanchot helped
advance: “what suits the work is perhaps that ‘I’ have
no personality.” This is inextricably tied to “the
fundamental demand of the work.” And again,
quoting Keats: “the poet has […] no identity.” See
Maurice Blanchot, The Space of Literature (Lincoln:
University of Nebraska Press, 1989), 90, 180.
6
David Foster Wallace, “Wiggle Room,” The New
Yorker, March 9, 2009: http://www.newyorker.com/
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Dean even finds signs of earlier expirations,
their processes invariably slow and inculcated,
as when he learns that the former occupant of
his Tingle had been sedulous to the extent of
burning out the buzzer that hailed more work.
But most striking of all is his next discovery:
“Small strange identifications in rows on the
blotter’s front edge were, Lane Dean had
realized, the prints of teeth that somebody had
bent and pressed real carefully onto the blotter
so that the indentations went way down and
stayed there.”7 Picture the ant, his mandibles
locked into that leaf’s central vein. And now
picture Lane Dean’s predecessor repeatedly
biting into his desk blotter, forcing his teeth
down deep, marking his discontent in a
trenched spoor of multiple deaths. The connection may at first appear tenuous, but both
are succumbing to the destabilizing machinations of a parasitical entity, and the cordyceps’ and the hairworm’s corollary in Dean’s
predecessor’s case is his self — or at the very
least his idea of it, his idea of possessing an
identity that is not necessarily represented by
the activities of his everyday life. The biting is
his vain attempt to make an indelible mark on
his surroundings, to stamp his individuality on
some part of the world. Of course on one level
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fiction/features/2009/03/09/090309fi_fiction_wall
ace.
7
Wallace, “Wiggle Room.”
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the vestigial evidence only serves to individuate
him in terms of the uniqueness of the bite
mark, but on another level this series of indentations reflects the exasperated motiva-tions of
a perspectively singular self continually subjugated into a state of virtual irrelevance. In turn
we will see how the perceived necessity (and
ultimate impotence) of attempting to mark (or
write) your way out of the thralldom of a
perceived anonymity, if carried to the end, can
only lead to a conclusion whereby the self is
freed from that which frustrates its telos (that
of indelibly distinguishing it from other versions of itself), i.e., the formulaic ubiquity of
human life.
In a much-celebrated address, Wallace states:
It is not the least bit coincidental that
adults who commit suicide with firearms
almost always shoot themselves in the
head.[8] And the truth is that most of
these suicides are actually dead long
before they pull the trigger. And I submit
that this what the real, no-bull value of
your liberal-arts education is supposed to
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8
Recall how the decapitated head of Orpheus sang
its way down the Hebrus and out to sea, and how it
then lived out its bodiless life as a troglodytic oracle.
The independent life of the head can also be seen in
the methodology of modern cryogenics.
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be about: How to keep from going
through your comfortable, prosperous,
respectable adult life dead, unconscious,
a slave to your head9 and to your natural
default-setting of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone,10 day in and day
out.11
The problem being, as he goes on to remark, is
that “It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay
conscious and alive, day in and day out.”12 Not
only, then, does Wallace (along with Quin and
Woolf) feel death in life that emanates from
both internal and external sources of cerebral
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9
Blanchot on a letter to Rilke: “It is the low ‘degree
of consciousness’ which puts the animal at an
advantage by permitting it to enter into reality
without having to be the center of it” (Blanchot, The
Space of Literature, 135). Recall that young panther
in the closing paragraph of Kafka’s “A FastingArtist.”
10
“That had surely been the beginning, the
separating of yourself from the world that no longer
revolved around you, the awareness of becoming
part of, merging into something else, no longer
dependent upon anyone, a freedom that found its
own reality”: Ann Quin, Berg (London: Paladin,
1989), 153.
11
David Foster Wallace, commencement speech
given to the 2005 graduating class at Kenyon
College: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB12217821
1966454607.html.
12
Wallace [commencement speech].
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automation, but also the inescapable realization
that the supraconscious human state to which
he alludes is at best fugacious, at worst a
nebulous and despair-induced ganglion illequipped to stand up to any sustained analytic
scrutiny. Gérard de Nerval even goes so far as to
suggest that this experiential malaise, this
feeling that one is somehow dead in life, is
symptomatic of mental illness, a stance he
illustrates at the close of “Aurélia,” in which we
get the following exchange,
“Why,” I asked, “do you refuse to eat and
drink like everybody else?” “Because I’m
dead,” he replied. “I was buried in such
and such a cemetery, in such and such a
place . . . .”13
Nerval goes on to speak of the inexplicability of
such beliefs, and how they are connected to an
illness that he himself was lucky to have
evaded. Although one of the prime motivations
behind his writing “Aurélia” was that of
impressing Dr. Blanche, whose custody he was
under in Passy, convincing him that he
possessed a sober-mindedness and transparency that was, before treatment, sadly in
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Gérard de Nerval, Selected Writings (London:
Penguin Classics, 1999), 316.
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question, 14 it is nevertheless a revealing and
intriguing illustration of how Nerval thought a
healthy person would view the disaffected
condition of the self-confessed animate corpse.
Nerval tells of how this poor man inhabits a
world of illusion, a world in which reality is
distorted, in which truth and the possibility of a
life of vigour and happiness are denied. That
Nerval feels able, compelled even, to separate
the two worlds so distinctly speaks of the
devouring virulence of this “illusory” world
from which he is now supposedly fugitive. He
divides the two realms with an absolutism that
emanates from fear and denial, creating a
division that could not possibly sustain itself.
For Nerval longed to escape not only the
supervision of Dr. Blanche, but also his own
“sickly fantasmagorias,” those chimerical bugs
that he felt were denying him authentic
occupation of the real world. But ultimately he
was unable to write himself out of Passy, or into
some supraconscious connection with the real
world — a connection that would disclose to
him secrets with which to nourish his life; death
was the nourishment he found.
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14
“Aurélia” was, as Richard Sieburth remarks, “strategically conceived by Nerval as a way of writing
himself out of captivity”: “Introductory Note,” in
Nerval, Selected Writings, 257.
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But this is not the only way one can approach
Wallace’s suicide. For once again, as with Quin
and Woolf, the details reveal the alternative
diagnosis of necro-equipoise, with Wallace too
having suffered mental health issues for most
of his adult life; in his case, stultifying bouts of
clinical depression. In the two years leading up
to his death the depression had returned, and
like Woolf he had found himself unable to
write. This inability to write is crucial. For it is
there, in the act of writing, that these suicides
uncover the partial realization of a supraconscious mode of existence and a temporary
release from anonymity: the self — otherwise
subordinated by everydayness, or by mental
strictures, themselves engendered by the self
being thwarted and weakened through prolonged contact with an everydayness to which it
refuses to succumb — is instead transplanted
into a series of textual artifacts peopled with
characterological emblems of this necessary act
of escapology. If his boredom is tantamount to
“soul-murdering,” 15 then the all-consuming
activity of multiplying perspectivites — selfbreeding — can be seen as a rebirthing or
distension of soul or self, a temporary solution
to the paralyzing horror of anonymity (the
work existing “like some collective anima figure
whose permutations would at once be finite and
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15
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Wallace, “Wiggle Room.”
15
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unlimited”). 16 When this outlet is somehow
exhausted, found to be wanting, or is denied to
one of its dependents, then it is as if the vitality
of life has already been removed, a partial death
already enacted. That Woolf identified herself
intimately with her work is evident from her
personal correspondence; and during those
times when her work was attacked, Woolf
claimed to be sensible of the blows; more and
more she felt she was the work, inseparable
from it, that the work was the reality of her self
and that without it she was rendered an
obliterative absence, left nurturing the wraithhollowed organ of a progressively itinerant and
displaced identity.
Unlike the other cases considered here, Ann
Quin’s suicide had a witness. His name was
Albert Fox. He was fishing from the beach and
watched her initiate that fatal thalassic trudge.
His account of the little he saw appeared in the
local press. He is widely regarded as the last
man to see her alive. But there was another
man, a man named James Carroll, a Brightonborn entrepreneur reduced to vagrancy, and he
watched her go under from the Palace Pier. His
press statement was never printed; it was
thought to be nothing more than the
hallucinatory babble of a mouldering alcoholic.
Carroll may have been on his uppers at the
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16
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Nerval, Selected Writings, 274.
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time, but prior to his statement there had never
been any reported instances of behavior that
would indicate F10.5 17 or beyond. Although
often considered to be apocryphal, Carroll’s
statement is something that, now 30 years
sober, he still stands by, frequently citing that
day’s extraordinary event as the reason behind
his recovery. These are the words that undid his
testimony:
Her head was still above the water when
it first appeared. I thought it must have
been a piece of her clothing come loose, a
belt perhaps. But then it was too long,
and the way it moved in the water . . . I
could see it was alive. She’d gone under at
this point, but it continued to grow and
shift beneath the surface of the water. Its
shape, the way it moved, jerking and zigzagging, was just like a giant eel — must
have been 20 foot long.
I for one do not believe that this can be dismissed as the ramblings of some delusional
soak. But whether he did actually behold the
untwining of a serpentiform ghoul, that the suicide was indeed “inside her” as it was with Anne
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17
The F10 scale measures the mental damage caused
by alcohol: International Classification of Diseases,
World Health Organization: http://www.who.int/
classifications/icd/en/.
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Sexton and Sylvia Plath and that this was it
leaving, its last witnessed act, is still very much
a matter of conjecture.
The last “act” of the Camponotus leonardi ant
infected with Ophiocordyceps unilateralis is to
fuse itself to a sapling by clamping its
mandibles into the vein of a leaf. This
agglutination cum coalescence of tree and suicide is well-established: present in the suicide of
Judas Iscariot in Aceldama (his body, as
Augustine elaborated,18 eventually dropping to
the earth and rupturing like a piece of ripe
fruit), in the corpse of Goethe’s Werther buried
in the roots of a linden tree, and again in
Beckett’s weeping willow so prominent in
Waiting for Godot, to name but some. Evidencing his trademark economy, Beckett makes
short work of uniting the small expirations of
everyday with man’s ultimate end, while also
managing to allude to the reproductive potency
of the suicide/hanged man’s legacy, as exhibited
in the following exchange:
ESTRAGON: What about hanging ourselves?
VLADIMIR: Hmm. It’d give us an erection!
ESTRAGON: (highly excited). An erection!
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18
Thereby yoking the diverging accounts in the
Gospel of Matthew and Acts.
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VLADIMIR: With all that follows. Where it
falls mandrakes grow. That’s why they
shriek when you pull them up. Did you know
that?
ESTRAGON: Let’s hang ourselves immediately!19
The roots of the mandrake 20 are not only
strangely anthropoidal in form, but are also
thought to be imbued with magical properties,
properties that can supposedly be harnessed in
a narcotic blend prepared from its toxic root;
and the myths surrounding the victim’s
terminal discharge are likewise manifold: from
the hanged man’s seed springs forth man as
hypogeal poison, as intoxicant, a necromancer’s
forked dildo and genitor of promiscuous
zombies (the soulless and loveless, a brood of
witch-born Stavrogins).21
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19
Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot (London: Faber
and Faber, 1973), 17.
20
For a novelization of the myths surrounding the
mandrake see Hanns Heinz Ewers’ Alraune.
21
William Burroughs frequently associates the
hanged man with a continued life-force, “A Nigra
hangs from a cotton wood in front of The Old Court
House . . . whimpering women catch his sperm in
vaginal teeth”: Naked Lunch (London: Flamingo,
1993), 76. Also see William Burroughs, The Soft
Machine (London: Flamingo, 1995), 63.
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19
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Although, perhaps nowhere is this alliance of
tree and suicide presented more literally than in
Dante’s The Wood of Suicides (Canto XIII).
Having torn a leaf from a tree under Virgil’s
instruction, Dante is immediately chastised by
his arboreal victim, one Pier delle Vigne:
And the trunk of it called out: “Why are you
tearing at me?
It grew a little dark with blood and said,
Once again: “Why are you dismembering
me?
Have you no spirit of compassion?
Once we were men, now we are stumps and
shoots.”22
Immured in “knotted wood” and fed on by
Harpies, these suicides pay for their transgression, their act negating all future acts, with
eternal paralysis, a dead-life of wooden anxiety,
the very state from which our literary suicides
seek deliverance.23
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22
Dante, The Divine Comedy (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1998), 98.
23
Trees, suicide, and issues of freedom have been
juxtaposed quite brilliantly by Daniel Dennett: “I can
never decide whether this is a tragic or comic vision:
the deterministic world unfolds over the eons,
eventually producing creatures who gradually grow
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There are many other instances of adaptive
parasite manipulation, but one that is particularly relevant here is the phenomenon of
giant gliding ants (Cephalotes atratus) feeding
on bird droppings. These ants ingest the bird
droppings and thereby ingest the nematode
parasites contained within them, whose eggs
then cause the host ant’s gaster to become red
and distended, so coming to resemble certain
berries that are favoured by local birds. The
birds then consume the berry-like ants and, of
course, the parasites to which the ants are host,
and so the cycle continues. Here we see, in its
most blatant form, how the parasite transforms
its host into a consumable product. Unger, for
one, felt that his utterly compulsive and allconsuming writing habits had transformed him
into a consumable (readable) product, that he
had not so much produced consumable items,
but was himself made consumable in them.
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rationality and curiosity to the fatal point where
they can be caused, inexorably, thanks to their very
rationality, to see the futility of their frantic,
scheming ways. And so they pass, in a final selfannihilating spasm of ratiocination, into complete
stolidity. Perhaps that’s what happened to trees!
Perhaps in the olden days trees scampered about,
preoccupied with their projects, until the terrible day
when they saw the light and had to take root and
‘vegetate’!”: Daniel C. Dennett, Elbow Room: The
Varieties of Free Will Worth Wanting (Oxford: Oxford
University Press, 1984), 104.
!
21
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If, as I have been suggesting, these writers do
indeed incubate their suicides for many years
— their lives being little more than displays of
denial and nurture as the suicide grows and
consumes them like feasting hairworms — then
Nerval, aware of its presence but ignorant of its
schedule, was leaving nothing to chance by
carrying on his person for a number of years his
ultimate means of dispatch: a grubby apron
string for which he claimed an esteemed
provenance. On the 26th of January, 1855 he
finally put it to use, hanging himself in the rue
de la Vieille-Lanterne.
“Nerval, it is said, wandered adrift in the streets
before hanging himself. But aimless wandering
is already death; it is the mortal error he must
finally interrupt by immobilizing himself.” 24
These words from Blanchot remind us of what
it is that characterizes the cordyceps-infested
ant as suicidal: the terminality of the untethered, the rootlessness of a suicide’s final
moments.
The suicide note left by Nerval for his aunt read
as follows: “Do not wait up for me tonight, for
the night will be black and white.” This night,
for Nerval, promised to be devoid of all the
nebular uncertainties common to other nights;
by promising to be one with the printed page,
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24
!
Blanchot, The Space of Literature, 102.
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he foresees a night that will at last unite his
literary output with his once ruptured and
plague identity. Finally, after repeated
proclamations about the illusion of his living
death, a sickness to be overcome if one is to
truly access the world, he makes it his own, or
rather ceases to see himself as separate from it,
and with this alliance comes the world, the
reality that had seemed so distant and unreal.
The fruiting bodies that rupture the ant’s head
as they escape, the spores, the identities unleashed, represent the ripened fruit of an
oblique death, a “little death, sour and green,” a
“borrowed, random death” 25 that comes from
outside, imposed, alien and disowned. According to Blanchot, for a death to be sufficiently
developed, appropriately mine, “It must be like
my invisible form, my gesture, the silence of my
most hidden secret.” This is the death open to
the literary suicide, for unlike their arthropodal
counterparts (that are consumed rather than
assimilated), their infestation not only becomes
the truest picture of who they are, but they
themselves find it becoming. But still there is
work to be done, for “There is something I must
do to accomplish it; indeed, everything remains
for me to do: it must be my work. But this work
is beyond me, it is that part of me upon which I
shed no light, which I do not attain and of
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25
!
Blanchot, The Space of Literature, 126.
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which I am not master.”26 The work of which
Blanchot speaks is that of acceptance, wherein
death becomes consonant with our sense of
identity. But no light is shed, no attainment
made and no mastery gained, because one does
not go about shaping the end of self, rather one
detects that it’s that very end that has shaped
them all along. This discovery is moonless and
ungovernable; it is like realizing that you’re in
the process of being swallowed, and that it’s
only your foredoomed refusal to be food that
prevents you from slipping down. The work is
beyond he who undertakes it in the same way
that a writer’s work is beyond the writer: its
terrain negates, and through negating embodies
the very negation through which it was conceived, that haunted lacuna that originated it.
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26
!
Blanchot, The Space of Literature, 126.
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IV(a). Conrad Unger: Snapshots of a
Suicide
Conrad Unger’s suicide on September 4, 2009,
his 50th birthday, was considered inevitable, if
not overdue, by those who knew him (as ineludible as Quin’s, Woolf’s, Wallace’s or
Nerval’s), and yet when news of it reached us,
his family and friends, we still saw need to
question that sense of inevitability that we’d
quietly absorbed so many years before and had
lodged inside us ever since like some dull,
gloomy dyspepsia. The inescapable truth is that
he had long ago, like two of his favourite
literary characters, Kirilov and Stavrogin, been
“eaten up by an idea.”27
A month prior to his death, Unger left his wife
of eleven years and his twelve-year old daughter
and took up residence in a studio flat approximately 40 miles from the family home. During
his time there he had virtually no contact with
the outside world: there were no callers, no
telephone conversations, and no reported interaction with his neighbours. The only person he
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27
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Devils (New York:
Penguin Books, 1971), 611.
!
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is known to have spoken to during those four
weeks was the proprietor of a local mini-mart,
dialogues all of which were entirely utilitarian.
When I saw the photographs and the video
footage of him hanging from that tree — five
different people made and disseminated such
documentation — I had trouble recognizing
him. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to recognize him.
Or maybe I never had. The first photograph I
saw was taken from some twenty or so metres
away; he looked like a forlorn bug. Even in
close-up this effect was not entirely lost: once
gangling in his youth, his sedentary life-style
had gifted him a marked tumescence around
the midriff, while his arms and legs, though of
more than sufficient length, had remained
exceptionally thin for the appendages of a fullygrown man.
Unger was seen two days prior to his death, in a
park across the street from his new lodgings,
staring up at the branches of a large oak for
more than an hour. His demeanour on that day
is said to have been one of calm focus,
bordering on serenity.
Unger spent the eve of his suicide eating a copy
of every story and every novel he’d ever
published. He kept his throat wet with brandy
and marked every fifty pages with a slice of ripe
pear.
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!
A suicide note was discovered in his left trouser
pocket: an adaptation of Father Time’s
departing scrawl in Thomas Hardy’s Jude the
Obscure, it read: “Done because I am too
menny.”
His was not the early to bed of Pessoa’s Baron
of Teive, his contagion torched in a fit of
reason, but the full awakening of once fragmentary voices, their humble residue sliding
down his inside leg, his day made black and
white.
IV(b). Conrad
Synopses28
Unger:
Excerpts
and
Mirror-Blind (Novella, 1992): a reworking of the
vampire myth in which the protagonist,
Adrienne, kills just so that she can view her
reflection.
“It’s more than vanity: I have to be able to see
the owner of all this. I have to witness that
place of origin. Photographs do not only smile
when I smile. And even though my reflection
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28
All the page numbers listed in this section are to
first editions.
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may be wet with murder, it is, however briefly,
mine. Without it all my animations seem . . .
hollow.” (183)
In order to see himself, Unger exteriorized his
internal states through writing. Adrienne, in
order to see herself, is forced to ingest the
interiors of others in repeated acts of destructtion. For Adrienne, the blood of others is quite
literally the idiolect of self.
The Upturned Tree (Novel, 1996): a love story in
which the jilted party commits suicide by
planting himself in the ground head-first.29
“Staring down into the planting hollow, he
caught sight of a worm he’d happened to bisect
while digging. He watched as it quirked on the
loose earth. Such is the violence of a nescient
death, he thought, as he made root of his head,
neck and upper torso, and waited for the soil to
follow him down.” (203)
The Lice Killers (Novel, 1999): this work features
the braided stories of a collection of distinctly
heterogeneous characters who all seek to alter
the course of their lives in some way, but who
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29
Conrad confided in me on more than one occasion
that entering into his daily life was not too far
removed from the slow agonizing death heaped on
this character.
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all eventually end up doing and being what
they’d hoped to avoid.
“When Mark thought about his children, grown
up now and lost to him, he thought of them as
ghosts, ghosts of tiny strangers that he’d made
up and who had come and gone without him,
leaving nothing to phantomize but their
imagined imaginings of him, absent father–
ghost. But Laura, Laura was different. Even
before the weight of her body stretched the
hemp Laura regretted nothing. She too had not
managed to evade, but unlike the others had
managed to assimilate that failure into a
cumulative rearrangement of herself, eventually coming to embody the very impossibility
of evasion.” (161)
Seven Tales of Zero (Short Story Collection,
2005): A book of seven stories, only six of which
were completed, unless you take the single
sentence of the seventh as a tale in itself (which
I do). As a story of a suicide’s life it requires no
further embellishment.
“Accepting that I was alive got progressively
more difficult, but in time I was able to
construct my future from it.” (137)
!
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IV(c). Conrad Unger: Selected Underscorings and Marginalia
Johan Nilsen Nagel (the hero of Knut Hamsun’s
Mysteries) carried a vial of prussic acid in his
waistcoat pocket: “all he had to do was swallow
it without grimacing too much.” 30 (Text
underlined in HB pencil.)
And later:
“The watch fell to the floor and he leaped out of
bed. ‘Someone is calling,’ he whispered, and
looked out the window with eyes bursting out
of their sockets. […] He reached the docks, ran
to the farthest pier, and leaped into the sea.
Some bubbles came up to the surface.” 31
(Asterisks placed with HB pencil in the body of
the text.)
The Horla, man’s invisible replacement, became
something of an obsession of Unger’s; his numerous copies of both versions of Maupassant’s
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30
Knut Hamsun, Mysteries (New York: Picador,
1976), 207.
31
Hamsun, Mysteries, 253.
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story are littered with underlining and marginalia:
“16 May. I am ill: that’s certain! I have a fever,
an atrocious fever, or rather a feverish weakness which afflicts my mind just as much as my
body. All the time I have this terrible feeling of
imminent danger, this apprehension of impending misfortune or approaching death, this
presentiment which is doubtless the first sign
of some disease, as yet unknown, germinating
in my blood and my flesh.”32
And later:
“. . . he who shall die only at his appointed day,
hour and minute, because he has reached the
limit of his existence.”33 (Both sections of text
circled in 2B pencil)
In the margin of Nerval’s “Aurélia” beside the
following line, “every man has a double and that
when he sees him, death is near.”34 Unger had
written, “I have seen the double inside and I
must die.” (Marginalia in HB pencil.)
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32
Guy de Maupassant, Selected Short Stories (London: Penguin Books, 1971), 315.
33
Maupassant, Selected Short Stories, 344.
34
Nerval, from “Golden Sayings,” in Selected Writings, 270.
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“a pure spirit buds beneath the husk of
stones.”35 (Text circled in red biro.)
“ ‘A fuckin livin death, I tell you it's not being
near alive, by the end I was undead, not alive,
and I tell you the idea of dyin was nothing
compared to the idea of livin like that for
another five or ten years and only then dyin.’ ”36
(Line ends struck through with yellow highlighter.) To the title, Infinite Jest, he’d added in
black biro the words, “or coming to terms with
suicide.”
“I felt the crushing weight of evil insect control
forcing my thoughts and feelings into prearranged moulds, squeezing my spirit in a soft
invisible vice”37 (Text struck though with yellow
highlighter.)
“[…] death knows the way to my closet
he knows the way to my bedroom he knows
how to get in my shoes
death knows how to tie knots in my fishing line
he unbuttons my shirts
he whets my knife death
like a rudder to the slaveship moon
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35
Nerval, Selected Writings, 374.
David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest (New York:
Black Bay Books, 1997), 423.
37
William Burroughs, The Soft Machine (Flamingo,
1995), 55.
36
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with its sombre sarabandes like little footprints
like tombs put to music
songs that cannot be sung
listen how it tangles my tongue
and see here the spectators of death”38
(Crosses placed at the end of each line with HB
pencil.)
“Crossing the bridge at that moment was a
simply endless stream of traffic.”39
And later:
“‘because I’ve never been able to find the kind
of nourishment I like. If I had found it, believe
you me, I’d not have made this fuss but would
have eaten my fill the same as you and everyone
else.’”40 (Text underlined in HB pencil, and then
for the most part erased.)
“He spoke with an accent; I think he’s a
foreigner.
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38
Frank Stanford, The Battlefield Where the Moon
says I Love You (Barrington, RI: Lost Roads Publishers, 2000), 118-19.
39
Franz Kafka, “The Judgment,” in Franz Kafka
Stories 1904-1924 (London: Abacus, 1981), 56.
40
Franz Kafka, “A Fasting-Artist,” in Franz Kafka
Stories, 252.
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He is. He came to this country some
years ago. But he’s here permanently now.”41
(Text bracketed in 2B pencil. Excessive
indentation present.)
V. Conclusion
That fine mesh dream of self (that mycelial
human curse) expands in the brain, bloating it
with plans and coordinates, pasts and futures,
its seemingly eternal patterns of redemption
floating purposeful in the skull air like tiny
filaments brushed from the brain of God. And
then somewhere down the line my friend’s
uneven teeth clamped tight in the unseasonably
hot sun. Back there in that park, his body
hanging rigid in place, his brain finally
devoured by the ravening dream, his ruptured
skull eaten free of the rooted silos of concretized thought — the rope a tumoral stick
cum fruiting alien limb cum stroma stretching
its perverse destiny into the sweat air. With
eyes filled with black smoke, and mouth
seduced into an unholy seal of lipless teeth, he
rained his dream on us.
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41
Jerzy Kosinski, Steps (New York: Random House,
1968), 62.
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What is left for me to say?
Too much and so, in the end, nothing.
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W. dreams, like Phaedrus, of an army of
thinker-friends, thinker-lovers. He dreams
of a thought-army, a thought-pack, which
would storm the philosophical Houses of
Parliament. He dreams of Tartars from the
philosophical steppes, of thoughtbarbarians, thought-outsiders. What
distances would shine in their eyes!
~Lars Iyer
www.babelworkinggroup.org
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Shipley, Gary L.
The Death of Conrad Unger: Some Conjectures
Regarding Parasitosis and Associated Suicide
Behavior
punctum books, 2012
ISBN: 9780615600307
https://punctumbooks.com/titles/the-death-ofconrad-unger-some-conjectures-regardingparasitosis-and-associated-suicide-behavior/
https://www.doi.org/10.21983/P3.0008.1.00